HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
