At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
