I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
