I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize