Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
