no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize