so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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