bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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