We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
