we're chasing vodka with high fives
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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