Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
