Even the bartender felt bad for me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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