he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
