Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
