Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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