i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
