Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
