i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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