He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
