he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
