Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
