I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
