Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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