So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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