can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
