I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
