Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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