some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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