Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
