I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
