i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
