Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
