Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize