Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
