Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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