unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
