Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
