I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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