I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
