I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
