hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize