Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
