Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
