I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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