Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
