i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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