so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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