Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
