Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
