If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
