He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
