Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
