all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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