Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
