Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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