my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
