one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
