she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Come share oat with me in your robe
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize